A New Adventure

I hope your day has been a great one. Take just a minute or two to reflect on this past week. What amazing things have you accomplished? Have you received the appropriate recognition? Perhaps you can reward yourself in a small way, some new clothes, a night out, a 'mental-health day' off from work. It's so important to focus on your productivity rather than the shortcomings. Burnout is a reality for so many of us, and we all need to take that time to pat ourselves on the back, toot our own horns, put that feather in our cap, and all those other sayings.

Loving Words of Wisdom

Choose Love

What would your life be like if every decision, every word you spoke aloud and to yourself, and every deed first went through a filter of love? Imagine letting go of conditioned patterns of defensiveness, fear, or anger ― freeing yourself to choose new responses that allow more love and joy to flow through all your experiences. The Sufi poet Hafiz declares, "When all your desires are distilled, you will cast just two votes: to love more, and be happy."

Whether your expression of love is physical, spiritual, or emotional, remember that the energy born of love is creative. It makes everything it touches new. To see how passionate you are, look around and see what you have created.

When your first response is love – for others and for yourself – the world becomes a sweeter, more forgiving, joyous place. You can begin right now by looking in the mirror, gazing with compassion into your eyes. Look at yourself and see that even if there is pain or sadness, your soul is also looking back at you with the light and innocence of the child you once were. Now holding your hand over your heart, say “I love you. I accept you. I deserve to be happy.” Try it. How does that feel? Practice this exercise regularly, for it is a powerful way to connect to your essential, loving nature.

Regardless of whatever else is going on in your life right now or whatever regrets you have, you are an amazing, beautiful being . . . divine in design and universal in spirit. It took you years to create the patterns that make you who you are. It can take but a few seconds each day to begin the shift back to the whole, sweet perfection from which you first entered the earth plane – to a state of pure love.

The next time your viewpoint is challenged – express love to your challenger. The next time you feel anger towards someone – give them a hug. The next time you are about to lash out – understand that the person could benefit from compassion. And most important, the next time you are about to blame yourself or beat yourself up for feeling “less than,” remember that you are worth all the love in the world – give yourself some credit because you are love.

(The Chopra Center)

“Please bring your heart near me.
For all I care about
Is quenching your thirst for freedom!
All a sane man can ever care about
Is giving Love!”
~ Hafiz

“What keeps us alive, what allows us to endure?
I think it is the hope of loving, or being loved.”
~ Meister Eckhart

"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." ~ Zora Neale Hurston

“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absentminded.
Someone sober will worry about things going badly.
Let the lover be.”
~ Rumi

“Love in its essence is spiritual fire.”
~ Emanuel Swedenborg

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
~ Lao Tzu

“In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
~ Albert Schweitzer

“There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.”
~ George Sand

“Healing is love, a deep wish is love. God’s attention is love.”
~ Deepak Chopra

“The important thing is not to think much but to love much;
do, then, whatever most arouses you to love.”
~ St. Teresa of Avila

Yoga for Everybody: Sitting Sun Salutations

In yoga, the Sun Salutation is a classic series of poses that enhance strength, flexibility, and balance. Here is a modified version that you can do in your seat to relieve tension in your spine, enhance circulation, and ease sore muscles during your flight.

1. Sit comfortably in your chair, with your spine erect, pressing your palms together in front of your heart. Focus your awareness on your body, breathing easily.
2. Reach your arms up, stretching your shoulders and upper back as you inhale.
3. Bend forward as you exhale, letting your hands rest on the floor next to your feet, relaxing your neck, and resting your chest on your thighs.
4. Grasp your left knee with interlaced fingers. Straighten and arch your back as you extend your arms, inhaling.
5. Begin to exhale while bringing your chin down to your left knee and rolling your shoulders, upper back, and neck forward. Fully exhale as you release your leg and return your foot to the floor.
6. Repeat the sequence with your right leg.
7. Stretch both hands towards the sky, extending your spine and fully inhaling.
8. Return to the first pose, with hands at heart center. Feel the sensations in your body with your full attention, breathing easily.

Maintaining a strong immune system during cold & flu season

The miserable symptoms of a cold or the flu are actually signs that your immune system is working to fight off the offending virus. You get a fever, for example, because your immune system's cells work better at a higher body temperature, while germs don't reproduce as well at higher temperatures. The swelling in your sinuses is due to the fact that armies of immune cells are rushing to the area to fight the germs. A runny nose allows your body to flush out germs along with mucus.
Your immune system is your best defense against infectious illnesses. Keep it in optimum shape with health-living strategies such as these:

-Don't smoke. If you already smoke, try to quit, even if you've been unsuccessful at kicking the habit in the past.
-Eat a diet high in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and low in saturated fat.
-Take a multivitamin if you suspect that you may not be getting all the nutrients you need through your diet
-Exercise regularly
-Maintain a healthy body weight
-Control your stress level
-Control your blood pressure
-Do not drink alcohol
-Get adequate sleep
-Take steps to avoid infection, such as washing your hands frequently and cooking meats thoroughly
Get regular medical screening tests for people in your age group and risk category.

----Cold and Flu, a 10 minute consult from Harvard Medical School

Inspiration for today

"My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue,
An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view."

---Carole King

Each event of our lives contributes a rich thread to our personal tapestry. We are each weaving one unique to ourselves, but all of our tapestries are complementary to each other. We need the rich designs of others in order to create our own. Rarely do we have the foresight to understand the worth, the ultimate value of a particular circumstance at its beginning. But hindsight offers us clarity. It's productive to reflect on the many circumstances that failed to thrill us; in all cases we can now see why we needed them. As our trust in God and the goodness of all experiences grow, we'll more quickly respond with gladness when situations are fresh. No experience is meant for harm. We are coming to understand that, even though on occasion we forget. Practicing gratitude will help us more fully appreciate what has been offered us. Being grateful influences our attitude; it softens our harsh exterior and takes the threat out of most new situations.

"If I greet the day, glad to be alive, I will be gladdened by all the experiences in store for me. Each is making a necessary contribution to my wholeness."

-Casey, K. Each day a new beginning; Daily meditations for women. Hazelden Meditations, 1991.

The Law of Dharma or Purpose in Life (Chopra.com)

The Law of Dharma: Everyone has a purpose in life . . . a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.

I will put the Law of Dharma into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps:

1. Today I will lovingly nurture the god or goddess in embryo that lies deep within my soul. I will pay attention to the spirit within me that animates both my body and my mind. I will awaken myself to this deep stillness within my heart. I will carry the consciousness of timeless, eternal Being in the midst of time-bound experience.
2. I will make a list of my unique talents. Then I will list all the things that I love to do while expressing my unique talents. When I express my unique talents and use them in the service of humanity, I lose track of time and create abundance in my life as well as in the lives of others.
3. I will ask myself daily,"How can I serve?" and "How can I help?" The answers to these questions will allow me to help and serve my fellow human beings with love.
   

"Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle." -- Deepak Chopra

This 2 year old's got her ducks in a row. Do you?



With today's technical advancements we can produce what we could in 1948 in less than half the time. Nevertheless, free time has fallen almost 40 percent from a median of 26 hours per week to under 17 (Levey & Levey, 1998).

Quote

Choose Life! Only that and always! At whatever risk, to let life leak out, to let it wear away by the mere passage of time, to withhold giving and spending it... is to choose nothing.

--Sister Helen Kelly

Working on

I have been noticing that as responsibilities increase and the agenda becomes more cluttered, I've felt forced to neglect my meditation and mindfulness practice, as well as exercise. It took a few weeks for me to realize this, but today is the day that I get back on track. If you are noticing the same, that priorities have been a bit blurred or even slammed together, take an opportunity to evaluate. Make sure you are getting that physical activity. Getting at least 30 minutes of rigorous exercise per day has shown to decrease so many health problems including the risk for several types of cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes, and contributes to a healthy sense of self and confidence. Take the time to pamper yourself and reward your successes in a healthy way, but continue to challenge yourself, prioritize, and give up trivial things that keep you from enjoying life.

rcw

Incredible poem I was pointed to by my friend Karlee

Love after love

The time will come when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say,
sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger
who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread.
Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love
letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs,
the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit.
Feast on your life.

~Derek Walcott

9/11

I wanted to leave a simple message in remembrance of the attacks on the twin towers, Pentagon, and the attempt on the White House on September 11, 2001. I want to express my gratitude to our American soldiers who are fighting for liberty and freedom all across the globe. Thinking about the horrific events that occurred 8 years ago, and the trauma that so many had to endure, I am so grateful to live in a community that was not targeted by terrorists at that time. I realize that there very well may be additional attacks, or attempts, on U.S. soil and I can only pray that we will be alerted to these threats well in advance in order to prevent them from actually occurring.

I want to express gratitude for our American Veterans who have served in wars previous, as well as those who were not activated or who assisted soldiers in a variety of ways. I recently discovered that there are 2 living veterans of WWI, and 3 living dependents (children) of veterans who fought in the Civil War. I cannot express how amazing this is to me. War impacts us in so many ways, most of which we do not even understand.

Please keep our soldiers and military in your hearts and in your prayers. When you notice a veteran or soldier in public, express your respect and gratitude to them.

Feel free to post any comments, thoughts, or well wishes.

cw

Success requires 3 bones: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone

-Francisco

Trauma Recovery

I have been working a lot with trauma and bereavement over the past several months, and I am finding an incredible link to chemical dependency, addiction, and other chaotic behaviors. They share an interesting link with these types of traumatic loss, abuse, neglect, and other horrific situations. I have been soaking up some research and found some good info that I thought I would just post, in the hopes that someone will find this useful. Credit is given at the end of the post, thanks to the contributors. Thanks for your continued support, good luck in all that you do that benefits yourself and others.

cw


TRAUMA RECOVERY TIPS

From America’s Leading Crime Victim Assistance Organizations
No American will go untouched - whether directly or indirectly -- by the devastating terrorist attacks that took place recently and which swept the hearts and minds of citizens across the nation. Many people will experience a variety of reactions to the trauma and the unforgettable images from the tragedy, including feeling numb, angry, sleepless and helpless. The following tips may help you cope with the emotions and grief.

Talk. Unspeakable trauma becomes more manageable when it is verbalized. Try to find words to describe your reaction and share them with someone you trust. If you can’t talk with someone, write in a journal or diary.

Recognize that thinking ability may be compromised. It is natural that in these circumstances, one’s ability to concentrate is limited. Employers must recognize this and accommodate.

Honor individual differences in trauma reaction. Your way is not the only way. People bring their full life experiences to the events of September 11, 2001. It is not useful to tell others how to handle their own trauma. For example, telling someone he or she must be strong is useless. People are coping the best they can.

Recognize the value of tears. Tears are simply a tender tribute to mourning. They are a natural reaction of men, women, and children to internal stress. They remove unhealthy stress-related toxins from the body.

Reach out to those more directly affected. Call those you know who are affected, even if distantly affected. Perhaps invite them over for dinner or take them a meal. Listen exquisitely. They may say the same things over and over again. Honor these experiences by listening rather than giving advice or telling them that things could have been worse.·
Limit television and radio. Turn it on only occasionally and then go for a walk or put on some calming music to remind yourself that most of the people in the world and in your community are good. Human goodwill and kindness illuminate the darkness even as a single candle can pierce the darkness.

Do something to help. Donate blood. Send money to the American Red Cross or one of the other organizations that are helping directly. Fly an American flag or put a candle in your window to affirm your commitment that darkness will not overcome the light. Plant a tree or perennial plant to remind yourself at next year’s anniversary that life prevails.
Utilize spiritual resources. Attend church, synagogue, mosque or other faith community services or vigils. Be authentic with the God of your understanding.

Seek professional support. Additional trauma support, counseling and resources are available with the following organizations.

Coalition of victim assistance organizations providing this information include:
California Crime Victim Compensation Board, Colorado Organization for Victim Assistance, Joint Center on Violence and Victim Studies, Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) National Office, National Association of Crime Victim Compensation Boards, National Association of VOCA Administrators, National Center for Victims of Crime, National Organization for Victim Assistance (NOVA), National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children, National Sexual Violence Resource Center, Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape and Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS).
Additional information and trauma recovery tips can be found atNational Center for Victims of CrimeParents of Murdered ChildrenNational Organization for Victim AssistanceArizona Attorney General's Office.


Reactions of Children and Adolescents to Terrorism

Most children who might be affected by the terrorist attacks were witnesses through their parents or the media. Some children will have had parents or loved ones killed in the tragedy. Others will know friends whose loved ones have been killed. Not all children will know anyone or have reactions to the threat or the attack. They may feel safe in their homes and communities. Young children, particularly, may not understand adult reactions. It is important to reassure those children of their safety at this time. For those who have an immediate involvement with people who have been killed or injured, the following may be useful.

Development stages affect how children interpret their fear or how they experience traumatic reaction.

Pre-School (ages 2 to 6)
Death may be thought of as a different state but not permanent.
Time and space is only related to concrete or personal concerns.
The focus for children of this age is on their immediate life.
They may also believe that what they think about something can cause it to happen.

School-age children (ages 6-10)
Death may still be thought of as reversible.
Death is externalized into concrete fears and images of monsters or scary people.
Death may cause conflicted feelings about another person’s death or the terrorism attack. Children may fear for their own death.
The disruption in routine may cause children to experience a disruption in their own sense of identity and belonging to the world.
This is an age when children become more conscious of right and wrong. If they think they have done something wrong to cause what happened they will feel guilt. If they think others have done something wrong, they are likely to feel violent anger. If they cannot comprehend the issues they may distance themselves from any feelings because, “it doesn’t matter.”

Early adolescence (10-13 for girls, 12-15 for boys)
Due to physical changes, children in this age group often talk about physical stress-related symptoms: nausea, headaches, sleep disturbances, frequent crying spells, and so on.
Preadolescence and adolescence brings with them a solid concept of death.
The emotional roller-coaster that a child deals with at this age is manifested in wide mood swings.
In early adolescence, children become more preoccupied with peer relationships and begin to distrust or challenge adult interpretations of the world. When they perceive adults have failed them, they may be particularly hostile to the adult world.
There is a tendency for children to become very emotional in response to emotion-laden events at this age.
Ideals and commitments are viewed as a sacred trust. Betrayal of promises, vows, or relationships is rarely tolerated, even when being faithful to them may be harmful to the children who rely upon them or when the person making such vows is incapable of honoring them.
Words and symbols mean a great deal to the preadolescent and the adolescent child. Emphasize the use of stories, plays, poetry, and music lyrics often as a basis for expression.

Adolescence (13-18)
Normally, adolescence tends to increase the emotional upheaval of preadolescence.
Adolescent behavior is inconsistent. Anger may manifest itself as rage, and sorrow may become suicidal.
The immediacy of death when it affects teenagers is in stark contrast to their desire to see death as a part of a far distant future and their inherent sense of immortality. Sometimes their activities center on proving themselves more powerful than death. Involvement in risk-taking activities may be exacerbated by the loss of risk-inhibitions due to traumatization. They often express themselves by acting out and through experimenting with new behaviors.
Most adolescents are creative and energetic. Their creativity is manifested through the creation of their own symbols, activities, and words. Many young people create symbolic activities to memorialize their losses and to maintain a living connection to loved ones who have died or been injured in a catastrophe.

Children’s reactions to trauma at any stage are affected by the impact of “parent loss”
Actual loss of parent(s)
A violent, traumatic event may cause the death of a parent. Children then must cope with the shock of the event but also with the sudden loss of one of the most important people in the world to them.
Perceived loss of parent(s)
Often parents and other significant adults in a child’s life are unavailable to the child after a traumatic event because parents are so involved with other concerns.
Actual or perceived parent loss can be more traumatic than the trauma event itself

Common coping skills among children and adolescents

Coping through spasmodic crises
Children naturally allow themselves to deal with crisis and trauma by confronting those issues incrementally. They tend to focus on their grief and distress in short time periods and then return to everyday activities. They are not prone to dwelling on events or concentrating and analyzing the aftermath. They may become overwhelmed with emotions relating to a tragedy for a while but other things often divert them.

Seeking and relying upon help from others
Resilient children develop strategies for finding older children or adults who might help them. They will gravitate towards people who seem to provide stability and comfort. A child whose parent has died may actively identify a surrogate parent in the neighborhood or become especially close to a teacher or religious group leader.

A sense of a foreshortened future
Many children after surviving trauma cannot conceptualize a long-lasting life. This can be a positive coping skill when it helps them to focus on the present. It can be a negative coping skill when they believe that they may, or can, or will die in the near future and contribute to that belief through their actions.

Retreat into fantasy
Children often use fantasy as an escape from reality. They may imagine “savior” endings to a traumatic event that resulted in death or destruction. At times their fantasies will involve seeing themselves as the savior to the event; at other times they may imagine a loved one appearing as a superhero.

Education and aspiration
Some children cope well because they view the traumatic event as something to overcome through their learning or physical activities. School can provide a welcome relief to a traumatized child because it is routinized and the child knows what is expected. Lessons that are targeted and have definable goals help children to concentrate and adapt.

Spirituality
Children may cope better if they have a belief in God or other spirits. Children may believe that they are communicating with a loved one who has died and that they see the ghost or spirit of the loved one. This is not a frightening thought to many children but a comfort as they continue to grow and develop. Some children rely upon a belief in a loving God to help them through times when they feel alone and afraid.

Interventions for traumatized children

Establish safety and security
Respond to and provide opportunities for children to receive positive human physical contact to reaffirm needs for sensory comfort and care.
Help children get enough sleep.
Help children develop protective plans of action if another traumatic event were to occur.
Provide them with physical symbols of nurturing, love, or remembrance.

Allow children to tell what happened and to talk about death and loss
Encourage them to tell or develop stories that help them explore intense reactions such as anger or fear.
Ensure that children understand differences between life and death.
Reassure them that sadness and grief are a necessary part of surviving the death of someone they loved.
Talk with them about what they observed in the reactions of parents, peers, or other significant adults.

Predict what will happen and prepare children for the future
Encourage the establishment and reestablishment of comforting routines.
Provide them with tangible comfort items: a photograph of a loved one who died, a stuffed animal, or a favorite blanket.
Educate them about trauma, death, and loss.
Help them develop reasons for living.
Help them take time to think about their future.
Support adult caregivers in their efforts to react appropriately.
Work to help children solve problems they face because of the trauma.
Address what can and can’t be done.
Help mitigate other changes in their lives.
Address estrangement or their removal from peers and friends.
Help children frame their loss in the context of all of their relationships and their life as a whole.
Help children focus on the future.
Give concrete aid and factual information.


Copyright 2001, NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR VICTIM ASSISTANCE©, Washington, DC. Permission is granted to reproduce this material provided its source is properly credited


Recommended Books for Children Experiencing a Loss or Trauma

The Tree that Survived the Winter, Mary Fahy, Paulist Press. 1989 (All ages though adult)
Take Time to Relax! Nancy Carlson, puffin Books, 1991. ISBN # 0-14-054242-6. Ask for soft cover edition.

The Knight Who Was Afraid of the Dark, Barbara Shook Hazen, Dial Books for Young Readers. ISBN # 0-8037-0667-7. Ask for soft cover.

There's Something in My Attic, Mercer Mayer, Dial Books for Young Readers. ISBN #0-8037-0414-3. Ask for soft cover edition.

There's a Nightmare in My Closet, Mercer Mayer, Dial Books for Young Readers. ISBN # 0-8037-8574-7.

I hear a Noise, Diane Goode, Dutton Children's Books (Puffin Unicorn Book), NY. 1988. ISBN # 0-525-44884-5.

When Someone Very Special Dies, Marge Heegaard. Woodland Press, 1988. ISBN # 0-96-20502-0-2.

When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death, Laurie Krasny Brown and Mark Brown, Little Brown and Company, 1996.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story for All Ages. Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D. 1982. SLACK Inc. ISBN # 0-943432-89-8, or Henry Holt and Co. ISBN # 0-8050-1064-5.

Sunshine: More Meditations for Children, Maureen Garth, Collins Dove, 1994. ISBN # 1-86371-406-5. .

I Still Miss You by Hawk Nelson

There she was, 5'3 a picture of my mother's mother
She showed me love, and all the ways of God
Her final days were spent in bed where she passed away
I won't forget her smiling face when she left us that night

But I still miss you
All the times we spent together
To hear you talk about the weather
I always prayed you'd get well soon
I wish my prayers came true
I know Jesus has the answer
And He's way bigger than the cancer in you
But I still miss you

If dreams came true, just one more chance to talk to you
And thank you for the time you spent teaching me the truth
A boy back then, I've grown up, now I'm a man
I can finally understand the things you said to me

But I still miss you
All the times we spent together
To hear you talk about the weather
I always prayed you'd get well soon
I wish my prayers came true
I know Jesus has the answer
And He's way bigger than the cancer in you
But I still miss you

I need some help to carry on
I need some strength to keep me strong...

Quote

"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."

--Zora Neale Hurston

The 5 People I'll Meet In Heaven

After watching the movie, which was made from the novel, I started to contemplate who might be waiting for me on the other side. There are the 2 obvious answers, but who else? Is someone already waiting for me? Or am I yet to have an experience that will have enormous consequences, positive or negative? Realizing my age and inexperience, it is quite likely that some of my 'people' have not happened. To clarify, events have not yet occurred that I will not initially be able to understand, but ultimately my perspectives will be widened after death.

Think about this for yourself? Have you already lost someone; are they on the other side waiting for you to join them? Live your life so that there are only positive experiences, happiness and joy waiting for you on the other side. This makes for a much better book.


cw

If I am always prepared for the worst, I just may be able to avoid the catastrophic

cw

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the exstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.



-----------From "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Degrees and certificates are not the only requirement for an education. In fact, to me, they are less important than experience, perspective, and response.

cw

The Fallout

In one of my DUI education groups I presented a concept of the aftermath of addiction. Much like the bombing in Oklahoma City or the attacks on September 11, the bomb or planes struck a specific location(s). That immediate location sustained incredible damage, but the aftermath was not isolated to that specific area. Housing developments, streets, shops, and other buildings nearby were devastated, even if they were simply struck with debris and not completely wiped out. Compare this to the aftermath of addiction. When a person is overcome by addiction, priorities are compromised and ultimately transformed. A helpless child may find that he or she is now on the back burner, second or third to the 'drug'. There is no classification of the drug, but simply something that MUST be acquired by the addict, at all cost. The destruction does not limit itself. It spreads. It spreads to family members, friends, colleagues, neighbors and community members, and even to strangers. A parent struggling with addiction may leave his or her spouse to be a single parent, to raise children without providing love, financial support, time, knowledge, and the list goes on. A parent struggling with addiction is a person bound. Until the bonds of the addiction can be broken, or at least until they can provide a little slack, the child will not be cared for, especially not in a way that is appropriate and acceptable. A majority of people in this world have siblings. It is reasonable to assume that when a person is addicted, their family, immediate or extended, will face difficulty, stress, and pain.
Imagine a bullseye, or a target. The center of this target, or the epicenter, as is termed for the center of destruction in a earthquake, is the most chaotically affected by addiction or any other form of misery. The epicenter is the individual. That person is affected, body, mind, spirit, everything. The first ring beyond the epicenter might consist of parents, children, spouse or partner, siblings, etc. These individuals are immediately affected by the addicts choices, and the consequences that come with his or her choices. The next ring might include more informal or infrequent contacts, those who have some interest in the welfare of the individual. Ultimately, there are people who are affected in a variety of ways, it is not limited to the addict. But the addict often fails to realize this. The idea that 'it is my body, my life, and I'll do what I want' is just one of several typical responses when an intervention is initially attempted by concerned family members. The addict is in denial, struggling with pride and unwilling to admit he or she is powerless and desperately needs help. This is not abnormal. It is important to support the addict and allow them to discover their helplessness and confront it. But without support from others, it is often impossible to overcome addiction.

cw

Great quotes

"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis."
--Margaret Bonnano

"Never be afraid to sit awhile and think."
--Lorraine Hansbury

"The most potent muse of all is our own inner child."
--Stephen Nachmanovitch

"In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous."
--Aristotle

"I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex."
--Oscar Wilde

"Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries."
--Corita Kent

"Every world problem may be solved by obedience to the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ."

--Joseph Smith

“The best way to tell whether we are moving in the direction of greater wellbeing is by listening to our inner messages of comfort or distress. Our highest evolutionary path is the one that generates the least resistance and the most joy.”
― David Simon, M.D.

A cool quote

Live for today, but hold your hands open to tomorrow. Anticipate the future and its changes with joy. There is a seed of God's love in every event, every unpleasant situation in which you may find yourself.

-- Barbara Johnson

Changes

I've been thinking about a client that I worked with a few weeks ago. He is in his late 60's and he is a heroin addict. He has been using for about 40 years, and has attempted quitting several times, with limited success. He has been clean, off and on, for a total of about 2 years in the last 40, since he started abusing. His insight is incredible. He works for a department store, as a greeter/customer service person. He is very pleasant to be around, and to converse with. I imagined myself having a discussion with Miles Davis, as this client looks very similar. I am not aware of the personality traits, whether they compare or not. Maybe this was the intrigue. The patient expressed that through all of his struggles for sobriety he has only found one thing to help him, and that is his spirituality. When he attends his church services or speaks with his Creator, he is normally able to be clean for that day. When he gets away from prayer and meditation, he says that he is 'heading for a disaster' that day. Because of his many relapses, he is looking for an alternative to help him get sober. We call this 'minimizing the risk' or lessening harm. For him, there are medications to help. Many alcoholics turn to candy and soft drinks to minimize the harm of their addiction - sugar instead of alcohol. "It's less dangerous to others if I get diabetes rather than be behind the wheel and not be able to control my car." I'm not advocating that we replace our addictions with something that is bad for our health, but look for alternatives to lower the risk and lessen the harm done.

I had another conversation with my HT companion a few weeks ago. We were discussing how, as humans, we use about 10% of our brain capacity. We both believe that the other 90% consists of our knowledge, wisdom, and memories of the pre-mortal life. I think that, at times, we are able to access more than that 10%, and see a little bit beyond the veil, and get a glimpse of what will be after we leave earth. Amazing to think about, isn't it? We also talked about how, as little children, we knew next to nothing concerning the world, universe, spirituality, and many other concepts. As adults, we know much, much more. But there is never a time where we know everything. We could look at ourselves compared to children, and expect that adults are much more educated and wise. But compare ourselves to our spiritual leaders, the general authorities, etc, and we are as infants to them and their understanding of eternal concepts. Interesting to recognize this, and realize that we all have such a long way to go, no matter what our struggles have been, are, or will be. The same can be said for our past, present, and future successes. We are on this seemingly endless journey to gain experience and wisdom. I like to use the word 'hoard' when referring to gathering information. I want it all, no matter if I can understand it all now or not. I can always save it for later, when I can really let it saturate and sink in.

I really, truly hope that you have a terrific rest of the day. Take some deep breaths, and realize a few of the things that are going very well for you in your life. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back. After that, do something simple to make someone else's day. It will rub off, and you will find that the favor will come back to you, someday.

cw

The physicality of death destroys man, but the idea of death saves him. [Yalom, 1980]

The only limits that exist are those which we place on ourselves.

cw

George Costanza just asked Jerry 'Don't you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you have access to my dimentia?' Brilliant. George is my Dad.

A watershed is a defining moment of insight and clarity where healing begins and lives are reclaimed. I just learned this term and I really like it. by WA&ATP

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